Then I got older.
I started taking medication for my ADHD and I stopped crying. It dulled my emotions and took away my tears.
I missed them.
So I quit taking the medication. It wasn’t simply about the lack of fluid in my tearducts. After all, my life didn’t get any better with it (the medication, that is). And I liked the thing that made me me. Tears. Joy. Excitement. Enthusiasm. Love.
I’m one of those people who is loud and animated and who some call crazy. I don’t care.
I like to think I love bigger, I feel deeper and I show it more openly than most. Some don’t even know how to be around a woman who’s like this. Thank God my husband embraces me and the things that make me me.
Our society shys away from tears. Oh, you can cry at funerals if you make sure to dab away the tears before they fall to your cheeks. Sadly, last summer one of my best friends buried her 6-week old grandson who died in his sleep. Her other grandson who was 6 at the time was weeping during the graveside service like a wounded animal. Hearing his moans almost brought me to my knees.
He was hurting. He was devastated. And at age 6, it’s okay to show it.
The rest of us wanted to moan too. The rest of us wanted to collapse into a heap with him. The bereaved Mom of the baby who had died lifted this sobbing child onto her lap for comfort. Hers and his.
It was a broken day. Broken hearts. Broken dreams. Brokenness all around.
So why do we try so hard to keep it all together when everything’s falling apart.
We view it as a ‘weakness’ to cry.
It is not.
Tears are the medicine of angels. They heal us from the inside out. When we allow these toxic emotions to invade our body and our soul, we break down. Literally. We get sick. And after doing this for too many years we can’t go on. People die.
Don’t be afraid to cry. Let your body feel what’s quaking in your soul. Let it out. If you don’t, the pressure builds up and you dare to explode. Or worse yet, implode.
So cry. Your tears have power. They are there for a reason. To heal you. To comfort you. To change you.
It takes strength to feel.