I’ve spent my entire life being a good girl. The ultimate people pleaser. I want to help everyone and disappoint no one. I used to want everyone to smile, hug and sing kumbaya.
But you know what happens when you help everyone and disappoint no one…you end up disappointing yourself.
You end up exhausted and resentful and angry and spent. You know exactly when you do this. You tell someone you’re coming and then end up wanting to stay home. You do all the giving in a particular relationship while the other person does all the taking. Ugh.
I even did it in a tiny way this morning. The girl at the gym who I’ve made friends with is about to graduate from nursing school. She’s a happy person to be around. I like her. She asked me before I left if I was going to be at the gym tomorrow morning. I said “yes.”
Then I got to my car. I’d forgot I’m going out of town tomorrow morning, and I didn’t want to get out of the car and go all the way back into the gym to tell her I wouldn’t be there. So I didn’t. I felt bad. But then I reasoned that it might be okay for me to disappoint her. She’d get to the gym, with or without me. And that would be good. So I picked disappointment.
I gave a speech to a women’s business group a few years’ back and point #2 of my speech was: Disappoint someone
Following the speech I had to practically stand out of the way as a woman who wanted to tackle me ran to the front of the event. I could tell she was armed with an “how dare you tell anyone to disappoint someone.” I stuck to my guns. Perhaps I’d even disappointed her with my speech topic.
So, I’m sticking to this one. You absolutely have to disappoint someone along the way of life, because if you don’t, you’re the one who will end up tired and let down.
Get started today. Disappoint someone. It’s inevitably going to happen anyway.