You Cannot Make Someone Love You

Love isn’t supposed to hurt. Love is supposed to be filled with smiles and moonbeams and fairy dust and happiness. Love is supposed to inspire and fulfill you.

Except when it doesn’t.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve recited I Corinthians 13:4-8 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

The good Scriptures say love never fails. So why am I feeling this sad?

It can be a friend, a parent, a child or a spouse. We feel misunderstood and unappreciated. The utopia we believed to exist flat out doesn’t. They don’t care as much as I care. They don’t love as much as I love.

What am I supposed to do with these feelings? Am I supposed to get angry, wither into a million little pieces or bury our relationship?


I’m supposed to go on. I’m supposed to weep when the spirit moves me. I’m supposed to let myself be human. I’m supposed to feel.

I just re-read I Corinthians 13 again. And I think I figured out where I’ve been going wrong. I HAVE been keeping a record of wrongs. I’ve been marking notches on the ‘this is what I’ve been contributing’ side of the relationship list. I’ve been feeling underappreciated in every way.

But that’s all about me. Love isn’t all about me. Love is about US.

So for now, I’m going to try and stop keeping my record of wrongs. I’m simply going to be available. I’m going to love this person for who they are, not for who I want them to be.

I’ll let you know how it turns out.


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