Keep Your Spit To Yourself Please

Wal-Mart is not my favorite store to shop at (I prefer Target but now I’ve heard they don’t support the US military so pretty soon I’m going to be destined to Dollar General) but I was getting my nails done so I thought I’d pick up a few things while I was there. Yogurt. Check. Diet Coke. Check. Lip gloss. Ummmm.

Being 50, you find yourself thoroughly confused as you enter the make-up department. Are you too old for Cover Girl? Is Neutrogena only for clearing up skin? Will 14 Hour Lip Gloss actually stay on for 14 hours? I thought I’d see.

I strolled down the aisle and spotted the 14 Hour Lipgloss. It was right next to the 20 hour (who needs 20 hours of lipstick?) but was being blocked by two young women around the age of 20. They weren’t moving but I was determined so I was going to look over, under and through them.

But then I spotted it. They were testing EVERY tube of lipgloss on their arm. Swiping it and admiring the color. Aghast, I hesitated for about a nanosecond before I said something. I said “Are you actually doing what I think you’re doing there?” They looked at me like I’d dropped in from Jupiter and said, “What?” I said, “are you actually testing the lipsticks on your arm?” They responded, “Yes! The first one is always the tester.” I said, “No, they don’t have testers here and I don’t want to swap spit or germs with 10,000 other women.” I muttered the word ‘ Man’ and wheeled on outta there.

Have they ever heard of communicable diseases? Have they ever fought a fungus or a rash they acquired from some unknown source? Guess not. They seemed totally at ease running the open lipsticks over their arms and standing back to ooh and ahhh over it. We’re not in Beauty Brands or MAC or Sephora where they actually use sterilization. We’re in Wal-Mart for gosh sakes.

I remember watching the Discovery Channel a few years back and hearing a President state that when the people refuse to govern themselves, more and more laws will be needed. We will be governed by the State. Isn’t that exactly what is happening? When something as innocent as lipstick has to be monitored by the Make-Up Police, we all lose.

I didn’t actually see either girl put the lipstick to her mouth, but who knows who else had visited the counter before they did. Keep your spit to yourself please. I don’t want to buy a lipstick you’ve tested on your arm either. I know the true color doesn’t always appear on the lips exactly as it does in the tube, but use your best judgment. And Wal-Mart, encourage your manufacturers to seal the tubes. It’d make it a bit easier and safer for all of us.


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