Calm in the Crisis

For the past 4-5 years, every day has seemed like a crisis in the category of money. There was never enough. The due dates printed on the bills and the dates printed on the paystub never matched up.

Crisis tears you up on the inside. Your adrenal glands oversecrete. You eat too much. You share too much with strangers and not enough with the people who really matter. You hide your pain and squelch the knot in the pit of your stomach.

Crisis in painful. It’s terrifying. But everyone has something to deal with and I’ve decided that while my money crisis has been one of the most horrific things in my life, there are much worse things that could’ve happened. Like what you ask? Like cancer you can’t get rid of in spite of 27 chemo treatments or the rape of a beautiful 16-year old girl on her first date. My girlfriend’s son lost his leg in a motorcycle accident last week. Now that’s a crisis.

Those things can’t be changed. The wounds are mortal.

Money, on the other hand, can change. You can get more of it. You can change how you view money. The wound of your lack of money is temporal, even when it spans years. I’ve made a decision to be calm. I’ve made a decision that the crisis will end when I decide it will. For now, I’ll keep plugging because that’s about all I can do.

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